First Sentence

"For Eve, after receiving Adam's rib (a rib that was two sizes too big for her, thus forcing her into a bigger bra size), was sitting idly in the Garden of Eden, contemplating her navel and suffering from dire hunger (for Adam was not much in the hunting-and-gathering department), when she was approached by the serpent, Suzanne, who admonished Eve, saying, "Girl, it's a sin to shop on an empty stomach."