"For fourteen-year-old Edie Stein, the road to Deansville's annual Feminine Woman of Conscience Pageant is strewn with pitfalls. True, she's an ace at Mystery Powders, and she's come a long way in Freestyle Walking and Better Person Skills. But she's increasingly troubled at the prospect of offing her genius bunny, Alice Jones, in the Sacrificial Rabbit event. And despite the strenuous coaching of her mother, training for the Electric Polyrubber Man erotic arts competition has been a disaster: Edie just can't stop thinking about the girl next door, sexy Lana Grimaldi." "No question, adolescence is a trying time - all the more so when the bizarreness around you exceeds the sci-fi within. A gang known as the Blow Torchers runs amok, maiming would-be contestants. (Boys will be boys, but disfigurement is grounds for disqualification.) A plague of mutant grasshoppers storms the neighborhood topiary. An underground suicide cult gains momentum, and begins to exert a disturbing pull on Edie's imagination." "Torn between her loyalties, her passions, and her ambitions, Edie careens her way toward Pageant on an emotional roller coaster by turns hilarious and touching, tragic and absurd. Can she find a way to seize the day and to discover what it means to become a genuine feminine woman of conscience?"--BOOK JACKET.