Hosting birthday festivities for her husband Bobby's teenage twin daughters gives English professor Alison Bergeron a reprieve from her role as Evil Stepmother. Relatives are coming out of the woodwork, including Bobby's ex, who shows up with her second husband and four stepkids. But the party's over when the girls' uncle dies from an apparent drug overdose. He leaves behind an illegible suicide note and $250,000 stashed in his mattress.

Where did former Porta-Potty king Chick Stepkowski get his hands on that kind of cash…plus the ten grand he gave the twins? More critical: Did he kill himself, or did he have help? Alison learns the meaning of true dysfunction when Chick's stripper ex-wife enters the picture. Add to that a poisoning, a break-in and a federal offense. All that's missing is a motive…