How do we raise our boys to be men? And what do they lose in the process? Can a boy be contaminated by his mother's "femininity"? Has she failed if he isn't macho? Will he be a sissy if she doesn't let go?

In The Courage to Raise Good Men, Olga Silverstein, a family therapist, and Beth Rashbaum issue a challenge to the cultural conventions governing mothers and sons. This provocative book shows how all aspects of the culture we live in, from myths to movies, Sigmund Freud to Robert Bly, work together to persuade us that only a father can make a boy a man.

Even as we review our roles today, we perpetuate this gender split - boys must achieve, girls must relate - leaving men with mixed messages and mothers guiltily afraid to communicate their love. Drawing on case histories from her clinical practice and her own life, Silverstein shows that results are "lost boys, lonely men, lousy marriages, midlife crises," and sons who need wilderness weekends to open their hearts.

Silverstein questions the need for traditional male role models. And she calls for mothers and fathers alike to refuse to sanction the emotional shutdown we traditionally demand of boys, thus enabling their sons to grow up to be not only strong men but whole people.

Lively and iconoclastic, The Courage to Raise Good Men delivers an empowering message to mothers. Providing an essential blueprint for changing the way we think about male and female roles, Silverstein and Rashbaum suggest that transforming the mother-son relationship is the key to ending the division - and the war - between the sexes. Like Susan Faludi's Backlash, Deborah Tannen's You Just Don't Understand, and Gloria Steinem's Revolution from Within, this book will be a milestone in the gender debate