Name the Baby is the hilarious, heartbreaking rant of a young man whose girlfriend has just committed suicide in their New York City apartment. Burdened with guilt, sadness, and rage, he can't bear to stay in the apartment, so he grabs the gun his girlfriend turned on herself and heads out the door.

Embarking on a wild search for meaning and solace, he hits a blues bar first, gets kicked out, and continues on to a dance club where he dances the night away with a beautiful girl he'll never see again. He then visits his family in New Jersey, where he walks the family dog, takes mushrooms with his younger sister, and watches the local high school's performance of Romeo and Juliet.

After the play, he boards a bus back to New York City and returns to his apartment, where he finds something that forces him to finally face up to his sadness and guilt.